SWOTVAC | The calm before the storm that is finals.

Image Credits: Pinterest

It's SWOTVAC aka Study Without Teaching Vacation aka the week before the official start to exams aka the calm before the storm that is finals. 

In other words, the week I spend most nights up studying and all day at home. Good times indeed. 

Also why I will be inactive most probably for the next few weeks. 

Xx.

What being single (oddball) has taught me.

Image Credits: Pinterest

Now before you head on and read the rest of this lengthy post, I'd like to first make a disclaimer and state that writing this wasn't easy. As someone who has been single for the past 21 years of my life, the thoughts shared in this one post are those that I have never been comfortable enough sharing with even my closest friends. There are various reasons for this, the greatest amongst all the fear of being vulnerable. I never saw and gave myself enough credit for the person that I am, but today I have come to love and accept me for being well, me. So here goes :)

I'm one of those girls who grew up as a child with a few admirers who I did admire back in return. I grew up realising a little too late the importance of maintaining a healthy diet and what being a "girl" was. Now before you go all "gender stereotypes" on me, let me just emphasise that I have always been feminine as a child. I was always one who wore dresses and dressed up, not because my mother made me but because I genuinely wanted to. I was always vain as a child, I started wearing heels as young as five years (much to my mothers oppression in actual fact).

Growing up I was the awkward teenager who gained a little too much weight, and having attended a single sex school, I was never one of those girls who gained the attention of any boys that I came across. Blame it on romance novels, but I never was involved in a relationship like any of the other girls that I knew. This was never a problem to me though, because at that stage I was having far too much fun as a teenager to be bothered with boys.

Fast forward to many years later, I turned twenty and I realised that not only had I not gone for a single date, but there was no boy that I knew who was remotely interested in me. Now, I'm not one who'd jump into just any relationship, but you can only imagine the blow it had in my self-esteem. I began questioning if it was my looks that perhaps led to this. Was I not attractive enough for the opposite sex? Or was it my personality? Left and right my friends were getting themselves into relationships, and I felt very left behind. In my bio you would see that I'm an incurable romantic, I always wondered if there was still a possibility for me to find my prince charming given my age. My heart ached each time I realised that I was never going to be one of those attractive girls. Guys won't fall for me like my pretty friends.

But then that's when I realised my mistake.

I wasn't being myself. More often than not I was so caught up wondering what was wrong about me that attracted nobody (okay this is an exaggeration, I have been asked out before but I wasn't comfortable enough to go out with the guy) that I lost myself. I was so caught up with trying to be the perfect girl that the Aisyah I knew was lost in translation.

It wasn't until about eight months ago that I learnt to let go of my doubts. Sure, my friends could be getting into relationships and I could be the last one standing. I am sincerely and genuinely happy for them, and to this there is no doubt :) What I do know though is that once my perspective changed I realised that people were more interested to talk to me. Furthermore, my inability to speak to a member of the opposite sex is now no longer a problem. Before I was so afraid to say a single word to any guy I found attractive simply because I would be afraid of the judgment he would have about me. Once I learnt to let it go and just be who I was, in most cases I found myself not only being confident, but people in general were more interested to listen to what I had to say.

Today I stand before you as a girl who's interested in achieving so much more for herself. I want to grow so much more as a person. I know I will find love someday, I believe that the guy for me is already out there. I may have met him, I may have not. All I know is that my heart is open to the idea of love but I am in no rush to get into a relationship. I think that's the beauty of it isn't it? It's beautiful when things happen so naturally. It's always nice to look back and realise how things fell in place so perfectly.

Ahh, I'm so sorry if I've digressed and gone off topic. I'm feeling rather peaceful and reflective tonight. Have any of you gone through the same thing? Any of you feel me? Do leave a comment, I'd love to know :)

Hope you have a lovely weekend ahead, xx.

My favourite YouTubers | Part 1

I've been watching YouTube ever since I was 12 although the obsession towards it wasn't as great as it is now. As a child and adolescent I was always wary of the internet and I'd only watch videos of people who I knew were "safe". I remember not daring to voice out my obsession until about a year ago. Before if you told anyone you spent ages on YouTube they'd look at you funny and classify you as a weird one. Today however YouTube has grown so much in various ways and I'm no longer afraid of letting the world know just how obsessed I am over it. 

So, today I thought I'd share with you some of my favourites. It was hard having to choose from my subscription list, but these are the channels that I'll never fail to watch each time a new video pops up on my feed. In no particular order, here they are:

(from left to right):

1. Marcus Butler

2. Anna Akana

3. Caspar Lee

4. Jenna Marbles

5. Miranda Sings / Colleen Ballinger

6. The Fine Brothers

7. Ryan Higa (nigahiga)

8. Zoe Sugg (Zoella)

9. Tyler Oakley

I don't doubt that the names mentioned here are already recognisable by many of you. Apart from their content, I know that the one reason that leads me toward pressing the play button on their videos is because of them. I like them as individuals and the work they do just lets me watch them do their thing. That's the beauty of YouTube though don't you think? Individuals are allowed to express themselves for who they truly are through videos. It's another form of expression, and for all the benefits and happiness it has brought to people around the world, I think it's a great platform :)

These people never stop to inspire me with the things they do each day. Unfortunately once they start doing well people get unhappy and the negative comments start coming in. We should remember that YouTube is no longer just a hobby for them, it's now a career. Advertisements and promotion is all a part of the job description. Just skip those parts if you don't like it, I know I do. I trust however that my favourites won't do advertisements and sponsorships for products unless they truly enjoy it.

Nonetheless here are some of my favourite YouTubers :) They are amazing individuals and I think they deserve all the success they have achieved thus far. It's weird isn't it, to feel a sense of happiness when your favourite YouTubers achieve success? I find myself crying along with them when they're happy. I could also perhaps be suffering from some sort of sickness called obsession...

Have you heard of these YouTubers before? Or who are your faves? I would love to check them out if I haven't already heard of them :)

A second installation to this series will be coming out soon! Till then, happy end of the week everyone! Let's face the new week with positivity :)
xx.

Drinking 3litres of water everyday - 10 years younger?!

When I stumbled upon this post on Facebook more than half a year ago, I felt sceptical about the results. I mean, I've seen what photoshop can do to pictures and as much as it can help to beautify pictures, it also deceives you from the truth. I find it hard to believe pictures that I see on the internet nowadays, especially those that stem from articles proving results of experiments or products that supposedly work. 

However, I do know that water is important and am aware of the fact that I used to drink a lot less than the daily intake required. It used to affect me quite a bit, to the point that having issues with my bowels due to the lack of water happened so often it became an indicator for me to start drinking. 

Fortunately, I only started realising the consequences of not drinking enough a few months ago.

You would know by now that I apply make-up, and it has reached a point where I don't feel comfortable leaving the house without it. The main reason though? My dark eye circles.

I don't only have dark eye circles, but at a tender age of 21 years I already have several lines underneath them. I've been told that these lines are here to stay and are a result of my eczema and dry skin. However, it reached a point whereby no concealer could hide the fact that I looked very tired and perhaps much older than my age. Furthermore, if eczema wasn't enough to cause dry skin, having lack of water in my system certainly wasn't helping much. I felt like a human sized shrivelled up prune.

Image Credits: Pinterest

So one day, I decided to put the experiment to the test. I made a promise to drink at least 3 litres of water everyday (hitting a maximum of 4 litres) and here are the results:

These photos are 100% true to what you see, the only difference is the lighting during the time I took the photo. I can safely say that I see a significant change in my face as a whole, it's definitely a lot more plump (in a good way). However, what I love the most about this experiment is the effect it has on my eyes!! The area around my eyes are so much more plump now, and the lines are not as visible as they used to be. Also, it's not obvious in the photo but I noticed that my dark eye circles have reduced significantly too. I can't say for sure if this is an effect of the water or just my having proper sleeping hours but I would like to think the water had a role to play. 

This is the first time I've seen a photo comparison of my eyes before and after the experiment and I am honestly quite amazed at the results. I kid you not, this is real life!!

10 years younger? Okay maybe not, I definitely do not look 11... but I know I sure feel good about myself! Drinking 3 litres of water has not only helped with my appearance but I feel less bloated and a lot more energised and healthy as a whole. The only thing I dislike about this process is the number of trips I have to make to the toilet each day :P

To conclude, the article was true!! The effect may have been more significant for the lady in the article considering her age as compared to mine. I personally saw the difference in my complexion after two weeks of drinking 3 litres of water everyday. The important and tricky part is to be consistent with your intake. However, please do not drink more than 3 litres if possible, and I would highly recommend you seek a doctor before you head on to try this. People can die from drinking too much water. Remember that too much of a good thing is a bad thing too! 

One thing you have to be warned about is that this does not in any way help you to lose weight. It certainly does assist in detox (I cannot emphasise the satisfaction I feel after taking a huge dump hehe) but the only way to lose weight is through exercise and clean eating! Drinking does make you full though, and that causes you to consume less food which could help you lose a few pounds in the long run. 

Do let me know if any of you try this out!! I really would recommend it. I fail to drink 3 litres some days, I won't deny that it's hard to keep track of the amount of water you're drinking. I personally like to lay off drinking so much on long days because I'm not exactly a fan of using the public toilets either. Trust me, you will need the toilet very often. 

Happy drinking!! :) 

xx

Lipstick Revamp for Spring!

I realised I have yet to get down to writing a beauty related post (the main reason why I started this blog in the first place)! It has been a while, but I am back :)

If I failed to mention it before, I'll mention it now: Spring has sprung in Melbourne town! The weather has been temperamental as usual (we experienced winter weather this past week), but thank goodness because today's the last day of cold! Weather forecast looks promising for the days ahead, and I simply can't wait for all the sunshine in the world to come my way :)

Now that spring has arrived, I don't feel right using my red lipsticks anymore. Does anyone else feel wrong having to use reddish hues during spring? I don't know, perhaps it's just me. I feel almost... rebellious doing so :P

So given that I no longer wanted to use red, I headed to the local drugstore and purchased new lip candy! :) This was definitely a form of therapy considering the amount of stress I was going through at that point in time due to school work. 

I am LOVING these new lip colours so so much. It's often rare for me to find a pinkish hue that matches my skin tone. I am incredibly jealous of girls who can pull off pink shades, I think they are such a lovely colour but unfortunately does not go with me :( 

If you also didn't already know, Revlon has to be one of my favourite brands thus far when it comes to lipsticks. For these two ranges in particular, I realised that there was no need to have applied lip balm before putting on the lipstick. My lips were still incredibly moisturised throughout the day, and that's saying something because my lips can't go a day without moisturiser else it gets chapped. If you do choose to apply lip balm beforehand, be warned that the effect you'll get from the lipstick won't be as matte as you'd like. Rather I found that the texture was very slippery almost, and it wasn't a very nice feeling to have. I preferred it much more without the lip balm on. 

I have been using these colours everyday since I've purchased them, and I am madly in love with the mood it puts me in! :) I usually mix juicy papaya with tutti frutti because the combination really packs a punch.

It feels so much more like spring now with these newest additions to my lip collection. I hope this lasts though, I tend to change the colour of the lipstick I wear according to my moods. It helps to make life just that bit more interesting.

How do you like these colours? Are any of them in your personal lipstick collection? ;) I'd love to know!!

Have a lovely weekend ahead ♡
xx

Les Miserables

I grew up loving the arts, and musicals have always been the top on my list of "things I would starve for". The very first musical I watched was a local production about cats (which I unfortunately forgot the title of). I think I was 8 years old at that time, and it stirred within me an interest in wanting to learn how to sing and dance. My parents on the other hand thought otherwise of this and were not supportive of me entering this field. I don't hate them for not giving me that opportunity because I understand their reasoning behind it, but it doesn't make me wish and wonder what it would have been like for me if I had been able to chase that dream. Is it too late now at this age to even consider it as a career? Anyway I digress, let me get to the point of this post :)

Considering how much I love musicals, one of my ambitions is to be able to watch every musical on my list. It would be a bonus most definitely to be able to watch all of them on Broadway, but one must be both practical and rational in her ambitions. 

When I was six, I remember sitting down in the living room at my grandmother's house with my aunt. I was too young to comprehend her obsession at that point in time, but I remember her watching a DVD and replaying this one song over and over again whilst writing the lyrics out in her notebook. She would cry too while she was doing this. The only thing I remember is memorising this song even before I knew where it came from and the story behind it. Any guesses as to which song this could be? It was On My Own (on hindsight my aunt may have been going through an emotional period, it definitely would have explained why she felt a deep connection with that song)

Since that day, I learnt about Les Miserables and I grew a desire to watch the musical. It only ever toured Asia once, and that was before I was born. The movie starring Hugh Jackman was the closest I had ever gotten to watching the musical but it only created more damage than good because all I wanted to do then was to watch it live on stage. 

As if by some strange coincidence, Les Miserables was set to tour in Australia this year. What are the odds that I would be studying in Melbourne of all places at a time when they were set to tour?? I still remember the excitement I felt a year ago when the news broke out that they were set to tour in Oz.

Happiest night :)

On the 11th of October 2014, I caught Les Miserables for the first time with my friend Eileen at Her Majesty's Theatre in Melbourne, Australia. I can now say that I have watched the musical of my dreams, and the experience was everything I expected it to be. Laughter and tears were both expressed during the show, and now I wish someday to be able to experience it on Broadway. May Les Miserables never lose its message, and I sincerely hope that it will last for many decades to come. 

To love another person is to see the face of God.

I'm a happy girl filled with lots of emotions at this point. The soundtrack toys with my feelings that way.

Have you caught Les Miserables before? What is your favourite musical? 

Hope you've had a lovely weekend as I did ♡

xx.

People come & go.

I'm sure we've all had those moments, times where we question why some people don't seem to put the same amount of effort into friendships as much as you did. I ask myself this question all the time. As a "giver", I tend to give my all into my relationships. As a teenager I learnt that people show love differently, you can't expect everyone to return your favour. Once I grasped this fact, it increasingly became easier for me to accept and love the people around me for who they were.

However, there are some people that you have to let go.

Image credits: Pinterest

Sometimes, and most unfortunately, the friends you cherish and love have to go. Time moves forward, and people change. You change as well, and the relationship isn't how it used to be. If the relationship is toxic to your health and you find yourself getting affected by it (which isn't how a relationship should be), it's time to let that person go. 

Now here's the thing though. There seems to be a misconception behind this "letting people go". Most times these acts come with negative connotations and emotions behind them. 

Personally, I don't believe in that. I still know that despite the battles that may have been fought, the deafening awkward silences and the nervous eye contacts that now hold so many more barriers than before, this person still once held a very important place in my heart for a reason and for this reason alone I shall always treasure the memories we had together. 

Just because someone is no longer in your life does not mean that the memories they made with you walked away with them. Those memories are there to stay, and always remember that at one point in time it was a reason for your smile :)

It really is unfortunate that life is as such, but a wise man once told me "You only have enough space in your heart to love enough people. When someone leaves your life it means their purpose in your life is over. It doesn't erase them completely, they'll make an appearance again sometime."

So for whatever it is worth, thank you to everyone who has been in my life. I know someday that the people around me will disappear one by one, and by disappear I don't mean completely but that lives move on and responsibilities change. I treasure everyone so so much and I know these memories won't disappear anytime soon.

Hope you don't mind me rambling and posting my thoughts out once in a while, I've been going through quite a period lately and am feeling rather pensive tonight. 

Hope you've all had a good week thus far dearies, happy midweek xx.

My experience with depression.

When world class comedian Robin Williams passed away a few weeks ago, the response garnered from people all over the world was one of shock and sadness. Majority were sad that such talent was gone, but apart from that, most were appalled that the cause of his death was one that was ironic to his career.

Robin Williams' passing put a light on depression, and since then there have been several articles trying to educate people on the illness. Personally, I think that it's quite impossible to understand the illness unless you've gone through it yourself.

I've always been a jovial and strong person, and I know that these were some of my strengths that I worked on to keep. My personality was such that friends would often come to me to seek help and I was always willing and happy to help them. This definitely fuelled my love for psychology and definitely explains the reason behind my enrolment in the course in university.

I've heard of the term depression once too often. The term is usually misused, with people claiming they have it for the most minute situations. Such examples: "Oh my god, I'm so depressed I just failed my exams. Life is over." "She's depressed right now her boyfriend just broke up with her."

I think that the true meaning of the word has been robbed. Depression is now linked with sadness, but that is not the case.

I experienced by first encounter with the illness this year. At that point in time, I was already aware that I had three friends who were going through the same problem. Whilst my situation was nowhere near as severe as theirs, I had an inkling that there was a possibility that I had it. However, I thought that since I was aware of such a possibility, it would therefore be impossible that I had it. I thought that people who had it usually aren't aware unless friends let them know something was wrong with them. Their actions would have been obvious, of which mine was not. I later found out that people did notice, but they weren't sure if it was a topic to be brought up.

All I would like to say about my experience was that it was a dark moment and one that I genuinely wish none of my close friends and family would ever go through. Waking up lifeless, with no purpose, and hating yourself to no end was the worst feeling to have gone through. It wasn't that I didn't want to open up to my friends, but who would understand? No one would. I tried once, and I remember that the response was to stop thinking the way I did and to think positive. For a person with depression, asking them to think positive is like asking a cat to bark. It's impossible.

My studies were affected, and it wasn't until I decided to approach a psychologist about six months later that I realised how much help I needed. Speaking to a psychologist helped, because she allowed me to uncover some things that caused it. It was also great to talk to someone who understood why I felt the way I did.

What I do want to say though is that making that first step was definitely difficult. And it was hardest to let my family know that I had it. To make my already miserable state worse, I had to admit that I was sick in the mind. Being labelled as psychologically depressed makes one sound like a freakshow, and I felt like I was tainted and dirty. My soul felt ripped apart into a million pieces. No longer did I seek comfort in the strengths I once had, instead I saw myself as a loser.

But once I made that first step, the road to recovery seemed positive. Looking back, all those tears were definitely worth it. Sometimes you need to understand the reasons behind why you fell victim to the illness. A psychologist helps to uncover the reason. I have to give thanks to mine, she was so supportive and comforting. I have friends who had to change among a few psychologists because the ones they had failed to help them.

What I learnt from this whole experience is this: you can't actually tell whether someone is going through depression. Personally, I think that the signs are only very obvious once the illness gets serious. Prior to that it would be difficult to differentiate between depression and sadness.

To anyone out there who thinks they may be a victim to this illness, I strongly urge you to go seek help. Go visit a psychologist, trust me, you won't regret your decision. I am so thankful to myself for having made that move.

Today, I'm doing better but I still have those moments once in a while. But it takes a lot of effort to help myself get up from the fall.

I am eternally grateful and thankful towards my friends and family who were nothing more but supportive when I told them that I was diagnosed with it. They were nothing but understanding and helped me along the way. What I am most grateful of is that they never once pitied me. Rather they were there to listen to me if I needed to talk, and were more aware of any changes in my behaviour. I never once felt like a freak and found it a lot easier to accept the truth.

Depression is real and it exists, we cannot take it lightly because evidence has shown that it's a devil to a person's brain. People have died from it.

Finally, there is a myth that I would like to address and claim false. This is that people who claim they are depressed want nothing but attention. Trust me, if they are depressed the last thing they'd want is attention. Why do you think they fake their happiness and keep to themselves in the first place?

I'm no expert on this yet, but I sincerely hope to be. I would like to educate people on the illness as well as help the victims. These thoughts are merely my own through my experience with it. It may or may not vary within individuals.

I guess my point is this: Be nice to everyone around you because you really wouldn't know what they're going through. Each has his own battle, but I remember those short bouts of happiness I experienced when I was surrounded with kindness. It helped to lift the fog albeit temporarily.

Lots of love,
xx.

Image Source: Pinterest

The Royal Melbourne Show

As a child I've always dreamed of attending a carnival / fair. You see, back in Singapore we hardly (or ever) have fairs or carnivals that are on par with those you get in Western countries. It could be due to the lack of space we have, but to be honest I know I won't enjoy it as much because there won't be any animals to play with. Realistically speaking, I don't actually think there is a purpose to hold such a fair back home similar to those held in Western countries.

There won't be any farm animals to pet and see, that's for sure.

But enough about that, let's move on to the Royal Melbourne Show. This year marks my third time visiting the show. I have to say I end up exploring something new at the show each year. Also, going to the show with different groups of people each year definitely affected my experience :) The amount of enjoyment experienced increases each coming year.

There are several things to do at the Royal Melb Show. Personally, I found myself seeing a part of the Australian culture that's absent in my home country. Namely agriculture, crafts and animal rearing. Attending the show certainly taught me that the Aussies take great pride in their livestock and crafts. It definitely made me yearn for an authentic farmer's lifestyle in the great Oz outback. I've always loved the lifestyle of the Australians who live way out in the suburbs. To own a farm definitely isn't any easier than a job in the city. I salute all the farmers out there, I know for sure such a lifestyle isn't one that I'd be able to get used to unless it was the only option for me left for survival.

There were lots of livestock at the show. Some of them took part in competitions, but what I was in awe of really was the "quality" of the livestock on display. They were beautiful. To have looked the way they did definitely displayed the amount of blood, sweat and tears on the farmers part to have raised them that way. There were also certificates for each animal, and it was interesting to see the awards some of them had won (the animals!! How cute :>) as well as the names each of them were given.

Imagine the amount of effort that was put into this piece.

These were actually made out of eggshells!! :o

The Arts & Crafts section blew me away. As an avid baker, I was mesmerised by the cakes that were submitted for the show. Trust me, if I were the judge it would have been difficult to choose a winner. There were several different categories for each submission, but I definitely have to say that the pieces that won first place definitely deserved it. I can only dream to be able to make such masterpieces like that. I think I've watched enough of Cake Boss to know that I'm the baker that ends up dropping the entire cake onto the floor once its completed.

I wonder how long it took these contestants to come up with their crafts. It made me realise that it's most probably a big deal for them to go home with the ribbon. It reminded me of those Outback Western movies that show the lifestyle of those who live in the country. Very "Howdy y'all" if you get what I mean. Although I'm sure my perception is most entirely false and naive.

My favourite (& the only reason why I was willing to visit the show again) section had to be the petting area. In this room there were several sheep and kids around for you to pet and snuggle. I love this concept so much because the animals were basically running around an enclosed area and you were free to walk around and pet and feed them :) I love sheep and kids, they are the cutest things. At one point one kid tried biting my leg and left a trail of poo behind me as I was trying to get a picture with it. Tsk, naughty naughty. There were volunteers however whose role was to wait behind each animal and clean up their poo each time they left a mess. It was such a sight to see the animals fighting over the food when someone tried to feed them :) They were adorable, I loved it and only wish I could have captured a video of those moments.

Cutie :) 

Can you see that poo in between the legs of this kid. Tsk tsk.

Another highlight of the show for us definitely had to be the Masterchef Kitchen that was assembled by the team specially for the show :)

Every chef's dream. A room filled with every ingredient you could possibly need. 

Fun fact: Did you know that it takes 4 weeks to edit one 1hr episode and 6 weeks to edit a team challenge episode?

It took the team five weeks to assemble the Masterchef kitchen specially for the show. It was ten times more magical to have been able to step into a makeshift Masterchef Kitchen as opposed to simply seeing it on screen. Some of the past contestants were present on the day itself as well for a meet and greet. However I don't keep up with the Masterchef shows so I wasn't gushing to have a picture taken with them.

I'll now leave you with some random bits and bobs I caught from the day :)

Isn't this the cutest thing you've seen? 

Didn't win anything at the games area. Never had luck with these. 

The only downside was that it decided to pour the day we visited the fair. We knew it was going to rain beforehand (the morning itself), but decided to wing it anyway. My poor friends unfortunately haven't seemed to learn that an umbrella in Melbourne is as useless as a bicycle with no wheels. I learnt that lesson the hard way and was prepared with a hooded jacket.

The beautiful sunset :)

We didn't stay till the end to catch the fireworks, but it definitely was a day to remember. I enjoyed myself thoroughly :)

Other states in Australia have their own respective shows too: Royal Adelaide Show, Royal Brisbane Show, Perth Royal Show, etc. I wonder if the experience is the same elsewhere too.

Have any of you attended one of these shows? Or how are carnivals and fairs celebrated and carried out in your city? I would love to know :)

Xx.

Photo Credits: Choo Hong Tan & Myself