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| Photo credits: C |
The weekend after Easter has arrived and just like that, the mid semester break is about to come to a close. I can't say I've had a boring week, it was exciting in it's own little way but I was able to get a lot of relaxation through it all.
Over the past few days I've been thinking about the things we think we deserve. The most common phrase that comes to mind with these words has to be:
"We accept the love we think we deserve". But I think it transcends just love, there are so many more aspects in life that we feel we do or do not deserve.
I have very often struggled to come to terms with myself. People around me see the good sides of me, and even if they see the bad sides they're still able to put up with those flaws and love me all the same. Seeing as how we're our harshest critic, I found it difficult to accept my flaws. I don't mean physical flaws, I'm leaning towards emotional and (perhaps) psychological flaws.
A friend told me that we have three different personalities. Our
public, personal and
private personalities. Public refers to the personality we take on when we meet people. Personal refers to the personality we have amongst our close group of friends. Private of course, refers to our personality when we're alone.
Understanding things this way makes it a lot easier to see why we may seem to have multiple identities. One issue I had with myself was feeling like a hypocrite. You know, you're smiling on the outside and saying positive things yet inside you're thinking otherwise. How do you live with yourself like that? It could just be me, I've never believed in being hypocritical towards people in that sense. If I don't like someone I don't put myself out of my way to be friendly with the person. I still respect them though, I just don't make effort in wanting to get closer to them.
You may be wondering where this post is headed to. Fret not, I just asked myself a similar question haha.
In a nutshell, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you ever feel like you're undeserving of something, you're never going to be truly happy. We have to learn to accept that we have different personalities and that the thoughts in our head were meant to be in our head for a reason. Unless the thoughts you hold comprise of you wanting to kill someone (in the literal sense of the word), then don't hate yourself too much for it. Such thoughts once in a while is common and you should still love yourself despite these.
So if you've ever felt like you're undeserving of something, hit yourself on the head and take that back. If good things come to you, be grateful and give thanks and embrace the moment as it comes. That is all :)
... I should really work on explaining my posts properly. Such abstract thoughts lead to jumbled up sentences.
xx
