Tightly grasped.

There are very few things that I cling on to quite dearly with almost no intention of letting go. The tight grasp on these things - I’ve come to realise - stem from the memories I have from the period in which these things takes place. 


Like all things that reminisce on the past, Reply 1997 is a show that I hold on to so dearly no matter how many times I come back to. It’s not a) the nostalgia of the short period during the 90’s that I got to enjoy that’s reflected in the show, and neither is it b) the friends-esque vibe from the ensemble. My personal attraction towards Jung Eunji, her character, coupled with the fact that I caught this show during the lowest period of my life makes it difficult to cut the chord that binds me to the feelings I want to keep dear. 


Fleeting as it always is, my youth is now gone. Though I don’t think it lacked anything, there are of course feelings of sadness towards events that transpired. Through the looking glass, I see an empty vessel. There is a shell, but the element inside is gone. 


Perhaps that is why Reply 1997, for as absurd as it may sound, brought me to tears. No one really wins in the show. They each lost before they were found. 


The tears may have been a result from my desire to have an ending as bittersweet as that of Shiwon’s. It could have also been a result of my lost youth. Or maybe, just maybe... it’s because I find it very hard to believe in happy bittersweet endings. That my happiest periods were back when I was a teenager, and that I’m finding it increasingly difficult to grasp on to the string of those memories as I progress on in life. 


“We were passionate, innocent and we desperately miss that time.
Can you hear it? If you can hear me, reply. 
Dear the 90’s.”