Settling for less.

Image Credits: Pinterest

Whilst we very often think that true love / love finds its way into the lives of people, the harsh truth is that there are some people who don't get the opportunity to have such experiences with a significant other.

The love I'm referring to here does not include familial or friendship love, rather I'm speaking of a romantic love, the type of love two people feel strongly about each other for.

When a person remains single for too long, he eventually starts questioning if the problem lies with him. Could he possibly be so unattractive to the point that there isn't one trait about him that's likeable for someone else? Basically, your attitude is shaped accordingly and I personally think that it creates higher and harder walls that are more difficult to break down if someone does eventually come along. And yes, I use if because I know that my hopes won't be too high if I were in that position...

But that's not the point of this post. Rather, I've begun wondering what "settling for less" means. When someone who hasn't had the chance to experience such love before finds someone who shows interest, do they simply settle for that person? So yeah, he likes me and I like him too. But are you settling for him because he likes you or because he genuinely is good to you? Just because someone likes you doesn't necessarily equate to them being good to you :/

This idea and concept was clear to me as a teenager. Stupidly enough, whatever I saw on the television / read in books was what set the bar as enough for me. Along the way, friends started falling in love and judging from their experiences, the books and shows seemed pretty accurate.

However, at an older and (hopefully) matured age I slowly am beginning to question my definition of the phrase. You see, the chase would most definitely be different according to the age group you fall in. Should a forty year old pursue a woman the same way a sixteen year old does, chances are he'd be viewed as a creep / immature man. Or as they say, he's thirsty for something. You're expected to be more matured and adult in dealing with relationships as you get older. I don't think this is a problem, it's just something that comes with age.

That said, I've come to realise that I don't know what the bar is any longer. It also made me wonder why you can't just like someone and enjoy your time with them simply because you actually like them. I mean, if it is clear that he isn't interested in you that way after you've shown him signs then obviously you're only hurting yourself by spending so much time with him. But if there is that slight chance, does it matter if he isn't fulfilling the things you've seen in the television / read in books?

Then there's the social construct of how girls shouldn't chase after the guy and invest more in the relationship during the early stages because chances are thats how its going to be for the rest of their lives. Well, lets just say I've known friends who started their relationship that way, but five years down the road the tables have turned. The boyfriends I once wished my friends saw were bad for them are now so committed and invested into the relationship. That's why I think it doesn't matter who confesses first, #girlpower.

I guess at the end of the day, I know that my definition of less would refer to him treating me with no respect. If he sees me as an object rather than a person with feelings and emotion, then I'd only be embarrassed to have seen something in him in the first place. With regards to romantic gestures and the like, I've long since lowered my expectations.

Follow your heart, but also remember that everyone expresses their emotions differently. But if at some point in time you feel like you're really settling for less, then don't ever be too afraid to end things because you're worth so much more than that.

I wish I could explain things better. What kind of blogger am I?
xx.