Solitude is something I treasure very much. I enjoy the time I spend alone by myself, because it is during these times really that I get the opportunity to reflect through the day and gather my thoughts into a coherent string of words. You don't get the chance to just sit down and think through the day when you're in the company of others. On the other hand, spending too much time alone can also drive you mad when you end up overthinking. I guess there's always a limit to how much time you should confine yourself to solitude.
As much as I enjoy spending time alone, I don't necessarily like to feel alone. Being alone in my room is alright as long as I know that there's someone out there who cares about me and knows that I'm still very much alive. However, I think this idea of feeling alone transcends just having someone there for you.
Very often, I fail to muster up enough courage to step out of my house alone to do groceries or shop. The only time I ever leave the house alone is when I have to go to school. Whilst the idea of being alone is alright for me, hardly do I ever like to roam around feeling like there's no one there for (or with) me. Which is actually really ridiculous considering how I know there are loads, they're just scattered all over the place.
Two years ago I challenged myself and experienced dining at a restaurant alone for the first time. Strangely, it was therapeutic and I found myself feeling very much relaxed and proud of myself. It was mind over matter. If I never bothered with people who ate alone in restaurants, why should anyone else bother with me if they saw me do that? Since then, I've never eaten alone at a restaurant before but I have sat alone in cafes reading my books :) But you're never really alone when your company is a good book.
End point is: I want to challenge myself once again and push myself to my limits. I won't stop myself from going out when I want to. This time round I hope to fully learn to embrace the beauty of solitude and be courageous enough to take baby steps.
If you've never done this before then come join me! You'll be amazed at how much you'll actually enjoy yourself from the experience :)
Till then, xx.
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