How fast do you walk?

Source: Pinterest

As far as resolutions go, one that I have made in particular is with regards to the speed in which I walk. Instead of "resolution", I suppose it's safer to say that it's more of a reminder and a habit that I wish to change.

There are all sorts of speeds in this world. You have those who walk really slowly, those who speed away as if they're engaged in an urgent matter and those who walk at an average speed. 

Now I happen to fall in the second category, especially so when I'm alone. With company I find myself following their pace unless we're in a rush somewhere. That said though, I'm very often leading the group when we're walking... I wonder why. Maybe it's my pace. 

I've come to realise that the speed at which I walk when alone has influenced my life and ultimately my happiness. Firstly, I hardly have time to look at the things around me and consider their beauty given I'm so concentrated in getting to my destination as quickly as possible. Secondly, I most probably appear to be rather haphazard to others given how fast I walk. Walking fast increases your heart rate and though it may prove to be a rather good form of exercise whilst out but it doesn't necessarily portray you in a very good light. I basically found myself feeling awkward whenever I was out alone. 

Simply put, I felt as if my life was a rush and I felt highly unattractive each time I reached my destination. 

This year I told myself I wanted to stop walking so fast all the time. I wanted to change the pace in which I moved around from point to point. I needed to stop feeling so awkward about walking alone. 

Believe it or not, the impact it had on me was dramatic. I felt so much more at ease once I changed my pace. I was able to breathe calmly as opposed to the rapid heartbeats before and this altogether made me feel more relaxed as I walked along the streets. I felt less awkward, less of a haphazard but above all, I felt happy. I should mention now that my slower pace was coupled with a proper posture so this may have played a supporting role as well. 

Why am I sharing this otherwise boring and irrelevant post you ask? Well, because I feel that so many of us today are trapped in this cycle of rushing from place to place that we ignore the beauty of the things around us. Above all, apart from noticing the smaller things in life, the way we walk may inadvertently affect our own happiness. I'm so glad I detected my way of walking as a problem in itself, because I think it could have very well affected me altogether in the long run. 

I do occasionally fall back into my rushed pace and I find that I constantly need to remind myself to slow down and walk properly. I am definitely seeing this habit in a positive light and hope that in the days to come I no longer will need to remind myself anymore. 

Hope this post has enlightened you somehow, feel free to share your thoughts :)

xx

Nostalgia.

Source: Pinterest

I've come to realise as I've grown that social media has grown to be nothing more than an irritant for me. It's like that annoying pimple that turns up even when you don't want it to, but should you poke it leave a scar that may stay for a long time. 

I loved social media as a teenager. Perhaps it had to do with showcasing how perfect and wonderful life was. I remember clearly thinking up of witty captions, trying to use cool filters and applications to spice up my otherwise dull photos. Heck, I'd have already thought of a photo and a caption I wished to upload from an event that would have taken place a week or two later! That's as crazy as I had gone. 

Needless to say, I've soon gotten tired of social media. Tired of having to deal with "humble braggers" (okay I get it, you have hundreds of admirers lining up your door asking for your number), tired of having to see people claim every tom dick and harry to be their "babes"/"girlies"/"baes" (can I use this opportunity now to express my extreme distaste for the term "bae") and above all, people who upload three photos of their other half and the extremely wonderful things they do for each other every single day (you cannot then express your surprise when acquaintances / friends are aware of your break-up). 

I've since gotten rid of my social media. I found myself getting affected by said people above. Thus, instead of harbouring bad feelings towards these people, I've come to follow the mantra that goes "Out of sight, out of mind". That said, there are some platforms that I simply cannot bear to deactivate. Facebook for instance, is one site I know I definitely won't remove from my life. Simply because there are people who I may no longer speak to but would definitely like to remain "in touch" with. I have sent these friends random messages when they cross my mind to ask them how they're doing. Why be afraid if they find you weird right? It's the thought that matters. This reminds me of the article of the individual who met each Facebook friend for coffee to catch up. I wish I had the courage to do that too.

...also facebook is where all my photos (shared by friends) are. I honestly would mourn the day Facebook decides to shut down.

Another platform I know I won't deactivate or remove anytime soon would be instagram. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but instagram has served a very important and special purpose for me. Considering how I'm away from home so often, instagram's served the function of being my comfort during the days I miss home. How, you ask?

You see, each time you view a photo from your profile, the application shows you the number of weeks ago you'd uploaded the photo. I find comfort in the fact that a photo I had uploaded from an event/outing had only taken place a few weeks ago. It sets me in a reminiscent mood and reminds me of the good times that were spent :)

Speaking of which, you may be wondering now what my rambling above has anything to do with the title of the post. Well, I've spent my evening looking through my past photos and a wave of nostalgia hit. Apart from feeling utmost regret at not having put more effort into my daily exercise regiment, I've come to realise how much I've lost the youth and vigour I once had.

It's crazy isn't it? What do you see in your past photos? Apart from seeing my physical self and the objects in the photo, I see and recall the emotions and the thoughts that I had during the time of the event. I wonder if everyone else feels this way when they look at their past photos too. Perhaps this is why two people may look at the same picture, but one with more avid an expression than the other.

I definitely recall the times I've spent and the thoughts that I held in my past pictures. Oh that photo of us tumbling down the hill? I remember the coolness of the air, the sound of the children in the park and the crazy amount of adrenaline that was coursing through our veins as we did it. It's reminded me why I ever turned into an avid photo taking monster in the first place. I hope that I don't ever shy away during times I wish to take a picture of anything in particular, because very often the feeling you've had during that time may not return.

Do you have a particular picture that reminds you of a memorable event? Do share, I'd love to know :)

Till then, have a great mid-week and a happy chinese new year to all who celebrate out there! :)
xx.

Reflect.

The past week has proven that my heart is capable of bearing strong emotions that otherwise would have broken me. You see, I always find myself at a crossroad of not knowing what to do when I'm faced with such situations. Very often my head starts thinking of this space and the things that I would type as I go along but that said, it never actually happens. Eventually I end up consumed by my own thoughts that any attempt in wanting to type out said events don't ever end up coherent. 

... I was also once told that if you're unable to express your thoughts coherently it means it's not yet sorted out in your head. I suppose to some extent that is true.

Where shall we begin?

I was a spectator of an actual fist-pumping fight involving blood last week whilst at work. We were stationed to a school, and was actually pre-empted about the profile of the students we were going to be meeting. Still, never in my life did I expect to be faced with such a situation. Let's just say that at the exact point in time when I heard the loud punch outside from where I was my head was torn into two. A part of me that knew what was going on hesitated and almost prevented doing the right thing and going out to intervene. These were two grown 16 year old boys, and no matter how strong I may have been I knew I was no match for them. I don't know how I managed to muster up the courage to head out to see what happened.

To cut the story short, I never actually knew what started the fight or what actually happened. All I knew was that there was a part of me that felt really sorry because I know I will never actually be able to cross paths with these students again to help them. To be frank, majority of the students from the school came from broken families and judging from what they shared with us it seems that they don't seem to see their teachers as adult figures or role models. Who then do they see as role models if there is no one from their family or school? Their friends? What then if their friends are bad influences?

I don't believe that these 16 year olds I came across with were bad students. No, in fact I can genuinely say that at the end of the entire three days I spent with them I enjoyed their company very much. That said, three days is too short to make a lasting impact for the rest of their lives. The heart of the matter behind their behaviour has not yet been tackled. I should emphasise now that my job does not help students in dealing with their attitude problems.

However, there was one thing that hit me straight home. There was one student who at the onset came  across to be rather rude to me. At the end of the session I remember parting with him and telling him that I saw a great deal of hope in his future if he believed in himself. After all, why would he have remained attentive throughout the three days? I don't think someone who lacked the desire to succeed in his life would have done so.

After relaying my message to him, he approached me shortly after asking for a photo and exclaimed to his friends that I was the first person to have told him he had a chance of doing well. It honestly took me a lot of effort to stop myself from tearing up.

Source: Pinterest

All it takes sometimes is one small gesture to change someone's lives. I may not have been able to reach everyone last week but I truly did love the students and I genuinely see them achieving excellence in the future if they take the right steps to get there. Above all, it reminded me about the dreams I have for the future in helping the youth in my community and why I do what I do. The purpose is there, but how can I take it one step further?

I may not remember names very well, but I do remember faces. And I know I won't forget the faces of those I met last week. I pray for their success.

xx.